An Open Letter Regarding Contrasting Endurance Cultures - Running, Triathlon, OCR, etc.

The context for this post: all endurance athletes (runners, swimmers, cyclists, climbers, triathletes, obstacle course racers, marathoners, track athletes, ultra runners, trail runners, road runners, etc.) have a similar, yet slightly different culture. We all have distinct jargon (terms that refer to idiosyncrasies of our sport, even words that are different that mean the same thing). This past Sunday, I ran the Santa Monica Classic 10k, and for the first time in a local road race, pushed my daughter in a jogging stroller. I've run a very small 5k in Brooklyn pushing my daughter, and I've done tons of miles (primarily when she was about 8 months old until she was about 18 months old) with her in training. But this past Sunday was different. As I worked my way into the starting corral (immediately after the 5k race was sent off and the 10k runners loaded in), one girl took notable exception to my being near her with a jogging stroller. This is an Open Letter to her, that I hope stimulates some dialog between our contrasting (and at times conflicting) cultures. This is not to say that one is right and the other is wrong, but to acknowledge that each culture should seek to understand those that share our endurance lifestyle, and understand that when we cross-polinate, and try other disciplines, it may not be what we've grown accustomed to...

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Dear Anonymous Triathlete Girl,

I'm the dad pushing a stroller in the corral that you threw a tantrum at last weekend. I am that completely random stranger who responded by asking you what your race goal was (to which you responded "42-minutes" which I can remember clear-as-day because it's Jackie Robinson's number, and was about the time I thought I would run that day) and when I then offered to pace you to that goal whilst pushing 55-lbs of toddler and wheeled machine of death you subsequently ignored me, not even offering a halfway polite "no thank you", nor even eye contact from that point forward. Not only did you non-respond, but you demonstratively turned your back to me because I wasn't doing exactly what you wanted me to do. I am still not sure whether your female and male companions were mortified by your behavior, or if they too were giving me the "sharks with friggin' lasers on their heads" stare for being the stroller-guy sandwiched up in the front 250 people in a 3,000 person race. I sensed your race nerves and that the event was important to you, so I chose not to say something awful back to you. I gave you a temporary pass.

Here's the thing: most stand alone road races allow runners with strollers to compete (my favorite race of this sort is the Redondo Super Bowl 10k, that actually has a separate stroller race/division). I had as much right to be there in that corral as you did. Our crew specifically sought out a family-friendly, strollers-allowed race to run with our young children, and some of us wanted to do that as fast as we possibly could. Athletes are asked to "self-seed" at a race like that (whereas 10k plus person races generally have pace-per-mile signs posted to aid in this self-seeding), and as someone who ended up finishing 65th overall, I had more people in front of me than there needed to be (it took me a full 11-seconds to cross the starting line). I was very conscious about my race-lines, not running over feet or clipping heels. Let me tell ya, it was one of the most difficult 10k's of my life, having to zigzag while pushing my 2.5-year-old daughter was rough. Going up that 2-3% grade to get to the the turn-around on San Vicente built a new room in my pain cave. My daughter tossed her green racing car out of the stroller twice and trying to pick up something while pushing 55-lbs upgrade/uphill while at a race intensity pace, well, damn, you should try it sometime. It's awful. But I'm not asking for your sympathy. I enjoy the hurt locker, quite a bit.

I do get it, nobody likes being passed, nor beat by any parent pushing a stroller. At that very same race, many years ago, I ran 36:13 (my personal best) and had a dad pushing a stroller run 35:30-ish in front of me. Again, a little over a year ago, I was 4th overall at a 5k pushing my daughter in a stroller and was soundly beat by a guy pushing twin 3-year-olds in a double-stroller. No hard feelings either time, just mad props to those badass dads setting a pretty stellar example to kids who won't quite understand why that's so awesome, maybe ever (or until they have children of their own and try to run a fast race while pushing them). At the very least, I take precious little joy in my finishing position. I'm an effort conscious and time-minded athlete. If I run a time I'm capable of and if I worked hard for it, that's satisfying to me. That doesn't mean I won't push myself for position during a race, I mean, what's the point in dropping some coin unless we can push ourselves to be the best we can be with-and-against other competition. I respect my competition. Always. I let my legs, heart, and toughness do the talking for me. I never tell anyone in the corral they shouldn't be near nor in front of me. Nor should you. Nor should anyone.

I'm hoping that somehow this makes it's way to you, and you either find a way to be polite to others planning to suffer alongside you, or maybe select events that don't allow strollers (the LA Marathon, and pretty much ANY triathlon). But, I suggest that you treat someone pushing a stroller with a bit more respect, as the Boston Marathon (a race you've publicly declared you'll run) has a guy who pushes a huge stroller (well, it's more of a strolling-wheelchair) and he also does the Kona Ironman (towing his son in a friggin' BOAT), in fact, he's one of my personal heroes and inspiration to millions. I passed this father-son duo at the Boston Marathon years ago, and I cheered for him and shook his hand. His son cheered for me. It gave me a ton more juice to finish a tough Boston that year. 

Dick and Rick Hoyt aka TEAM HOYT at Boston

In closing, I sincerely congratulate you for putting the training in, showing up on race day and running your PR in the 10k. I didn't displace you in your division, nor did my 2.5-year-old daughter (although, when she's about 14, watch out in the female overall division at local events). If we ever bump into each other at another race or local group run, I'll buy ya a beer (or your favorite beverage) to show ya there's really no hard feelings. I wish you luck in your upcoming races in 2017 and beyond. I hope you get into Boston and crush it. Give Rick and Dick Hoyt a high five from me...

With Respect,
Jimmy Dean Freeman

Coyote Running Founder and Head Coach

Road/Track/Trail Runner w/300+ Races of Experience

3 Essential Steps to Stop Self-Sabotage Once and for All

"To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will."
-Sugar Ray Robinson

There are plenty of cynics in this world. Even if someone doesn't self-identify that way, we all have that dark little voice telling us the reasons we can't accomplish something, the reason things are destined to fail. What's worse than telling ourselves something isn't possible? Telling someone else that their dream isn't possible. One side step to that that's even more insidious, is telling other people that someone else isn't capable of something (ahhh, vicious gossip).

While you may not choose to acknowledge that you are indulging your inner bully, what else can you call it if you're being straight up about it? Start by making a choice to listen to your inner bully, then tell him/her/it to "take a long walk off a short pier". Or you can tell it to "Go F**K itself!" Whatever you need to break from that pattern of thinking long enough to get something done.

Step 1: Choose to believe you're capable of more than you can ever imagine. In some respects, you might be in the paradigm of fake it til you make it here. When you get to the point you believe in yourself, know that this isn't a permanent condition, nobody transcends that inner bully, at least nobody I've met yet.

Step 2: Surround yourself with people who are adult in their self-respect, and childish in their belief in chasing dreams. The adult part is important, as people who behave as children across the board are prone to childish jealousy, gossip, and feeling bad for themselves when you succeed. Your victory becomes their insecurity. The part that is childish (dream chasing element) is key because a lot of so-called grown ups are bitter, jaded and cynical. As far as I can tell, a very high percentage of these people have lived responsible, reasonable lives, and have at some point in time given up on something they really, really wanted to chase after.

Step 3: Foster an environment where you empower others in their goals and dreams, you become a champion vs the inner bullies of others. This can take many forms, but it starts with recognizing the red flags of others' inner bullies, and taking a stand for them to overcome. Interestingly enough, Step 3 is the most essential to maintaining Steps 1 & 2, as when our focus expands to community (instead of self), it's much more difficult to indulge in bad habits. When you put your focus on others, I find you also elevate your personal game. When you stand for excellence in others, you naturally trend towards maintaining your own excellence. Vanity helps here, nobody wants to be viewed as a hypocrite.

To expand a bit on the community focus, I have long had a rule for myself as a coach, but even more so as a human being:

"Never tear down the dreams or goals of another human being."

That's the baseline. But when I am living and breathing it, "another human being" will also extend to me, I'm not allowed to tear down my own goals and dreams.

A shout out to my friend (and mentor) Robert Mills, a man who hired me to coach one of his marathon programs before I had even really run a marathon myself. Yes, you read that right. Marathon program #1 (I'm now closing in on my 40th program coached), I had not even RUN a 26.2 mile footrace myself. Now, looking back on 13 years of marathon experience, I've finished over 60 races of 26.2 miles up to 135 miles in a single shot, having coached 2,500+ athletes to achieve their goals and dreams. But it started with believing in myself even if not 100%, and finding others who did too. Again, thanks to Robert and Euri, and especially that champion who's been at my side for all of that, my beloved Kate.

Call to action:

1- What big goal / dream are you chasing after actively now?

2- Is there a back-burner goal/dream that you haven't taken any action on in a long time? (i.e. something you keep telling yourself you'll go after when you're ready, just not now)

3- Who could you share these with that would stand for you being accountable to chasing these goals and dreams?

4- Who could you stand for to get on track with their goals and dreams?

"A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at."
-Bruce Lee

What You Do Isn't Enough, Challenge What You Think & Say - the Word Creates World Paradigm

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right."
-Henry Ford

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can... I just did.

I'm here to take a look at the relationship between what we think, what actually comes out of our mouth, and what we follow through and do.  I'm going to start with an assertion: if you are reading this blog (and I assure you at this point, YOU ARE reading this blog), then you are a dreamer, and I further assert a dream-seeker.  Otherwise my incessant "live your dreams" bantering would be annoying.

This blog entry in particular, is intended to have you put your thoughts and words under a microscope for a moment, to devote thoughtful consideration to that what you think (even those thoughts you keep to yourself) and consider how deep that influence is on the world you manifest and create.

A brilliant 'Thought Diagram' borrowed from www.CartoonChurch.com

You either speak (and think, and act) from a space of LOVE or from a space of FEAR and your word creates your world.  Especially your thoughts (your words to yourself).  I haven't read the book "The Secret" but from what I understand from the people who've demanded I read it to embrace more magic in my life, this isn't anything in the realm of the law of attraction, nor manifesting things.  This is common sense stuff, in terms of how we perceive the world around us.

I have a rule for myself, and this is where it begins:

THE RULE OF ASSUMPTION
95% of the time in life, I am not going to know the answer, the truth, nor the reality of something.  As a human being my mind absolutely must fill in the blank with the answer my mind deems most likely to be correct.  If I'm going to make something up, it might as well be something that empowers me and propels me forward.  I'm just as likely to make up something positive OR negative that will be incorrect, but until I know the truth of the matter, I shall consciously and intentionally make up something empowering.


I'll give you a real world scenario to illustrate this long winded rule.  One of your friends, maybe a coworker, suddenly stops talking to you.  They no longer respond to texts, when you see them are suddenly quiet and reserved.  Why is it in these situations we commonly assume the worst?  That inner gremlin (my inner voice, I call it a gremlin because it rarely has really positive insight) says something to me like, "they're MAD at you about something" and I start to wrack my brain for what I could have possibly done or said that has offended them.  Now, I can be a particularly offensive person from time to time, I'm brash, over-the-top, I talk too much and listen too little, and I can be quite crass.  I'm never surprised when someone is upset or offended.  My stomach still bottoms out when someone is upset with me, especially a close friend or family member, but that bottoming out hasn't really changed my patterns of speech and behavior.  For better or worse, I'm ME in just about every situation.  I would have made a great court jester, until of course I offended the queen and was beheaded (I didn't research this piece, so not sure if that's even historically accurate).  When I IMAGINE that someone is upset with me, I naturally start to interact with them less.  Not seeing them, I start to miss my friend so I finally reach out (via email, of course) with a "hey, is everything okay? I noticed you're not yourself and I assumed I did something wrong and wanted to check in" type message.  A very high percentage of the time, I get a message back explaining some family trauma, somebody is sick, a relationship just ended, and it had nothing to do with me.  Suddenly, I realize that the few days I avoided this friend, I was being a horrible friend as they could have used some love and support.

Baseline message, fear sourced those thoughts and actions.  It influenced my perception, then my behavior.  Imagine the same scenario where you brought love to the assumptions and how it might influence those actions.  Can you see you'd think, speak, and act differently?  I know I have (when implementing my rule about assumptions).

Gratuitous Chan Chan pic of Sim and Cameron for no reason

Cliche as it may be, if your self talk (thoughts) indulges fear, fear grows and takes over.  If you seek to love and respect yourself, if you practice consciously creating things out of love, which starts with loving yourself (your strengths, your weaknesses, your perfect imperfections) this will translate into a foundation for loving others around you, consistently.

Next time someone is downright nasty to you (stranger or friend) for no good reason, before you knee jerk into their black hole of negative energy, ask yourself what they might be saying to themselves that is causing their sour behavior and perspective.  Sometimes the best way to help someone out of that space is to not join them in it.  Yes, that's much easier said than practiced.  But it is indeed possible.


"In order to carry a positive action we must develop [first] a positive vision."
-Dalai Lama

My relationship began and thrives with a positive vision (yet sometimes the gremlin rears it's ugly head)